Morphing into primal
Hansen’s Primal Energy Tea sugar free
This is another of those drinks that drew me in easily with its cool packaging. It is listed as Pomegranate green tea in flavor. I had high hopes it would be as good as the Arizona Green tea energy drink or gasp even All City NRG. I mean it really looks nicer than the Arizona can for sure. Lets check it out.
Packaging: I love this can and it will be proudly displayed in my collection. With it’s Henna tattoo background and the bold tribal sun logo it really looks sharp. It is aggressive but not so much that it would scare someone away. The fonts and their coloring also look great on the can. Everyone who saw this can really liked it. Great Job. Grade A
Slogan: Found this on the can “Drink deeply and tap into the earths natural primal energy”. That is a mouthful of a slogan but it shows some thought was put into it. Grade B+ for slogan
Taste: I pop the top and the scent is very earth and organic and not real pleasant. I pour some in a cup and it is very cloudy and yellow brown. It has a nice medium carbonation and is kind of viscous. I take a sip and it is all bitter tea with just a hint of Pomegranate and some sourness. At the finish it is very bitter and the bitter taste last and last. Man how do you screw up a green tea this bad? I had a hard time finishing this drink. Grade D
Kick/Ingredients: Once I choked the drink down it actually turned out pretty well. In 15 minutes I was much more alert and by 30 minutes I was buzzing at a high level. It bordered on jittery energy. I was bouncing about smiling, working and just generally is a great buzzing mood. The buzz lasted a good 4 hours with no crash. I was really surprised by how good of a kick this drink had. It contains natural Caffeine(undisclosed amount), Taurine 2000 mg, Ginseng, Guarana, Inositol, Glucuronolactone, Maltodextrin, and 100% of your DV for B vitamins and vitamin C. There are no calories and no carbs. It is sweetened with sucralose. Grade B for kick/ingredients
Web Presence: Ok I will come right out and say it. The site at hansens.com really sucks. For a big company site there is just not much there. No real product or ingredients info. A color scheme and a style that makes me think of the seventies. This is the same company that makes Monster so I expected a little more. Sure there are some images, a store, and news and events but not really much to look at. Grade D for web presence
Recap:
Ok so this stuff is very nasty tasting. I mean the main ingredient is triple filtered water but I’m guessing it was filtered through 3 pair of soiled underwear. I have never tossed anyone’s salad but I am sure it would be similar in taste to this drink. It does come in a very cool can and the kick is damn good but really there are other tea based drinks that can provide these things with out the taste of ass.
